isma syairah

Become one of the positive person is not hard but not easy. I glad i have a mom and a husband to hear for what i want to spill out. To be me is never easy. Not all people like or love me. I knew. For certain people they just so close but it was hard to chit chat along. I thought it was easy to ignore when people we thought they trust us but they just not. I just forgive but to forget just really hard. Or i think i never have a girl sibling end up i dont know how to treat em. Girl just to complex to understand. Even if imagine i really cannot cope living like that. Not care about others feeling. Not talk to siblings. Not helping mom  in settle house even tired at work. Mom is not maid. I want to slap her face. Ok now. I want to become positive. Let just Allah pay for what she done. I not even care. Let me just living my life. I dont want to care. I will treat my sibling well. I want to laught with them. Enjoying food together. Take selfie. Powww each other money. Lets sometime...

Mu'az bin mohd izzul hazril , when first I know you come into our life, my heart get into so mixed feeling. Between so afraid, so excited, so blank. What should I do. I feel shocked because at first we really not estimate to have you while in college. But Subhanallah Allahuakbar. Allah know everything great to his hamba. Rancangan Allah adalah sebaik baik rancangan. Alhamdulillah I really pressure because at first i tought i will extend my study. I really proud with my husband because he never failed to raise me up when I feel so down. He gives so much motivation to me so i can walk again when my feet absolutely on the ground and i cant walk. He stay by myside holding my hand. Said something nice so i can be strong again. Those day was so dramatic back then everything was really not like we planned. Sometimes we late to the class because we need to make check up. We have to menyorok nyorok becuse my emotion at that time cant bare with too much attention. You know in college life...

nothing special about my live. proudly have grad and nowadays we ave our sunshine which Mu'az. my soul for today. everything change when he came into our life. everything seems so colourful. alhamdulillah. alhamdulillah, lives is not easy as we tough. struggle to get money is real. world seems so cruel. when i have mu'az i cant read news about child abuse, and everything about child that we hate to see and too hear. i hope my children your children who read this will be always in Allah guide hopefully Allah will take care of them every second. now my husband and i need to find money and our lives turn from fully student and today we become employer. think about bill that must be paid. about our sunshine. his diaper, milk, shirt to wear. and how to raise him to be great muslim. now i was at the office got nothing to do and found this back. yaa i hustle to catch this diary back then. Lol me.